Congratulations...

...to Red Sand and Enviroman on their referral of twin boys! I couldn't be happier for them. :)

Bullet train...

* SO glad that the weather has finally turned nice(r)!

* Wednesday we got our new windows in the house! We got new kitchen windows, a new sliding door (our previous one was shnackered), and a new window in "Little Maple's" room (sigh). The sliding door that we used to have was put in backwards, I've never seen such a bad job done. It had two glass doors and a screen door (doesn't sound so odd, does it?) The problem with it was that the screen door was in between the two glass doors...and none of them closed and/or locked properly. The previous kitchen windows never closed properly either...we could open them, but then they wouldn't shut straight. With the window in "Little Maple's" room, we always wondered why the room was so bloody cold and when it was frigid outside we wondered why there were icicles hanging down from the frame. Well, when the installers removed the window, we saw a REALLY big crack in the glass (that could only be seen when it was taken down). Gotta love that.

* On Friday Josh and I got our flower garden going. We planted red, pink and white impatiens. I figure this is going to be a yearly occurrence until our adoption comes to fruition, you know, since I'm so bloody impatient...yeah, I know, lame joke. We also planted some victoria blue and white snapdragons. Woo.

* Saturday we had a FANTASTIC time with Lisa, Craig and their daughters K & S, and we can't thank them enough for the fun times we had. :)

* We went there for 3:30 in the afternoon and didn't leave until about 11:00. We had a great time visiting with them and playing with S, and talking to K. Because of them, I'll never think of cough lozenges or "girlfriends" the same way ever again...

GOOD times, GREAT people.

* Speaking of good times and great people, we're just over two weeks away from our vacation to see this fantabulous couple. WE.CANNOT.WAIT!

Sneaky...sneaky...sneaky

Last Friday, Josh's birthday present arrived (a month early - his birthday is June 18th); I got him a solid maple bookcase. :)

I'm still amazed that I was able to surprise him, considering what ended up happening. He had no clue that I had planned anything at all for his birthday. The day before it arrived, I said to him in the car "I don't know what to get you for your 40th birthday!", little did he know what was arriving the next morning.

About nine months ago Josh took me to Woodcraft to look at bookcases. We were in the 'just looking' mode and weren't serious at the time about actually getting one. Josh had no idea what I had up my sleeve...

I ordered the bookcase at the beginning of April and I was told that it would take about eight weeks to arrive, which was perfect (it should have arrived closer to his birthday - but that was fine). I chose the wood, the stain, the number of shelves, everything. Anyways, when they were making up the bill, I told the salesman (who I later found out was the VP of the company) that it was a surprise. He wrote on the bill "SURPRISE FOR HUSBAND!" at the top of the bill and I gave them my cell number so Josh wouldn't end up getting a call at home and the cover would be blown. It all seemed to be coming together.

About two weeks after I placed the order I received a note from the company (it had their name and address on the envelope) and wouldn't you know that Josh went to get the mail that day. He told me that I received a letter from the company and he was curious as to what it was. I took the letter from him, opened it and told him that they were having a sale and that's why they contacted me. Mmmm, sneaky.

In reality, it was a thank you note from the VP for my purchase. Granted it was a very nice gesture, but the surprise was almost blown. I ended up emailing the company and asked them not to send anything else. They apologized and as a gesture of good faith, ended up waiving the $75 delivery fee. :)

Last Thursday, I got a call on my cell phone that the bookcase was ready for delivery. They told me they could deliver it next day and I would be the first delivery of the day.

On Friday I was a little nervous and had my cell phone on (since it was their only mode of contacting me). Josh still had no clue what was going on.

The delivery truck rolled up to the house at 12:45 and I called to Josh to come up the stairs. He came and I told him to look out the window and said "Happy birthday!" At first, he thought that I was kidding and the truck was just backing into the driveway to turn around. HA!

Then the driver stopped the truck. Josh's mouth dropped open and he kept saying "No way. NO WAY! What did you do?! Oh my g-d!" over and over again. His reaction was really amusing (especially if you know him).

As soon as the delivery men left, he ran down to the basement to get books to fill the case.

32...

So another month has come and gone. I was thinking of foregoing this month's "celebration" based on the news/rumours that referrals have stopped due to Swine Flu/H1N1. In the end, I decided to go ahead.



I also chose to add this *really* optimistic charm to the bracelet. Who knows when it's going to happen for us.



*sigh*

Mother's Day

Yup, I'm a day late, so sad too bad.

Yesterday Josh and I celebrated Mother's Day by having my mom and her boyfriend, my brother, sister-in-law and nephew, Josh's parents and sister, and Nic, Tim and Zubin over for lunch. An awesome time was had by all, if I do say so myself. :)

It was really great getting together with Nic, Tim and Zubin, and being able to celebrate Mother's Day with them. Nic was thoughtful enough to get me a Mother's Day present, which was greatly appreciated. :)

Yesterday wasn't the best day for me. It was 11 years that my maternal grandmother passed away. Yes, she passed away on Mother's Day in 1998. So, needless to say, yesterday was difficult for numerous reasons.

It's hard not being able to celebrate with our little one. It's hard for so many reasons. We've been through a lot in the past 11 years, between our various attempts and ultimate failure(s).

It's hard to pass her room (granted we haven't decorated it) every morning and not hear or see her.

It's hard grasping the reality that this adoption, while it will happen (see - here I am being optimistic again), may not occur for a few more years.

It's hard knowing that as the year(s) pass, we get older, and many family events happen without having her here.

It's hard not having the laughter of our child that we long to hear in a big, empty house.

It's just...hard.

This song speaks to me...

Ok, I know it's Miley Cyrus, and don't hate me for this...but I like the song. I *HATE* the video, so you all might want to close your eyes while this plays and just listen to the words. It speaks to me about the adoption, I feel we WILL get there someday. Yes, I know, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic (for now).

Someday we will be a family of three. I have to hold on to that hope because, after all, it's all we have.

Wow...

I checked my Statcounter and I surpassed 40,000 hits in total. How crazy is that?

I find it unbelievable that in the past (almost) three years, that so many people have been interested in our story...our lives...our adoption. I can't thank this community enough for all it has given me, all the wonderful friendships and amazing support.

Thank you.

Another request for input...?

I went out this afternoon and bought a bunch of books, and I'll be delving into them this weekend...and for some weeks to come. Thanks for all your suggestions. Once I get through these, I'm going to order the rest on the list...

I'm also thinking of ordering Kay Bratt's book Silent Tears, have any of you read it?