Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Feeling sick...

This is not a happy post, so if you're not feeling like reading something somewhat depressing do not read...and do not click on the link. Seriously. I'm not writing this as an 'oh woe is me' post because we're all in the same (sinking) boat, I just need to get this out.

Since the new batch came out, I decided to check out China Adoption Forecast and now I feel sick. Seriously. In the last three months our wait has ballooned from a somewhat manageable November 2011 to a present (assuming the batches continue to be small) December 2012. TWO THOUSAND AND TWELVE!

I'm trying to stay positive and hope that things improve, that the batches get bigger, that the imaginary speedup (that we've been hearing about) is going to occur. I just feel beat up, trampled and I can't see that this is going to happen for us.

I wish we had an alternative, but we don't.

We continue to wait, continue to 'celebrate' each month's LIDiversary and add a charm to the bracelet which I hope our child will wear one day. Lately though, I don't see it happening. I want to believe, but I just don't. Now don't get me wrong, I *am* happy for all those ahead of us who are receiving referrals now and especially in the upcoming months and I can't wait to see her, her and her get referrals.

Just once though, I want to be happy for US. I'm just feeling defeated and deflated right now.

24 comments:

3D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
3D said...

It is so unbelievably hard...I do not have the right words.

Hugs...

Keep smilin!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Ack! I just did ours and it came up six months later than I hoped. I feel sick... and I am SO VERY SORRY.

Catherine said...

I'm so sorry! (((Hugs)))

This wait is so hard and so much longer than any of us ever, e-v-e-r anticipated!!! Hang in there friend. I truly believe something has to happen and that it will begin to move things in the right direction.

I know you've heard this over and over and over again, but I truly hope that things turn in the right direction once they make it through March. March is a huge month and it also seems to be the last month where most people hung in there and did not switch programs nor options for forming their family. My heart believes that attrition rates after March are larger than they are for the March and prior group.

Wish I could say something to make it better. SO HARD!! Hugs and prayers friend. Love ya.

Juliette said...

No words. Really it is insane.
I am just not going there or I may start drinking way early...
BIG BIG HUGS.

Red Sand said...

I'm sitting here trying to find the words and I know there aren't any. Except perhaps that once the Murphy's Law month of March is done... sigh. And hugs.

MotherMotherOcean said...

Hang in there, baby. I know it is crap news. No two ways about it.

M and M said...

It fucking sucks!! PERIOD!!

Lisa said...

I too am at a loss of words. My heart is aching for you and Josh. You're good people and you'll be great parents. I'm hoping sooner rather than later.

I'm thinking along the same lines as Catherine that maybe the speed up will come after March is cleared. Until then I'll believe for you guys.

Looking forward to having lunch with you soon. Maybe we should start at the LCBO.

(((hugs)))
Lisa

Michele said...

I can only hope that some speed up will come soon. No one should have to wait that long to have a child to love. Hugs to you!

kerri said...

I'm sorry,there are no words...
This sucks..
Hugs.

Journeywoman said...

As someone who has her LID a month after yours I hear you.

That being said, I refuse to go on the predictor things. If you RQ, think of those as a R 1/2...not eavn an R1.

No one knows how it is to deal with it. and it just sucks.

Hang in.

Michelle said...

I don't have much else to add, although I totally second what M and M said.

I really don't think it will ever happen for us either. We don't have an alternative either. Ad we pack up all of our babies things and put them into storage I have a very strong feeling that we will never get them out again.

Instead of preparing myself to have a child I am trying to prepare myself for the relality that we never have them.

I'm sorry.

Special K said...

Sad days. Sometimes it's hard to be optimistic when the truth is staring you right in the face. I'm hanging in there, too, cuz I have no other options. Kicking and screaming ... but there hanging in, too. :)

PIPO said...

I'm sorry. Very sorry.

I felt that very same way at one point during the wait. I know it is a pain-in-the-arse torture that seems (and is) forever but dreams DO come true.

kerri said...

You were on my mind last evening, I have to tell you my blogger ladies out there are made of some amazing stuff.I don't know if I could endure the wait, but you guys keep up your spirits, optimism and you hold tight to your dreams.
I'm so sorry that the wait is so long, it breaks my heart to hear this, but know the moment you will hold your daughter for the first time that pain will melt from you. You will forget the agonizing months. The memories will soften with the hugs and milestones you'll share with your little one.
Hold tight, it'll happen.
Hugs...

Hedgetoad said...

I wish I could write something pithy that would make everyone smile and be upbeat... but I can't think of anything.

Donna said...

I clicked the link and felt sick too. It was just a bit of tremendous luck that we found Maddy on the SN list otherwise we'd have had a LID of 9/06 and would be standing in the same unbelievably long line with so many of our friends. I really have to believe that things will speed up and I'm hoping and praying that they do.

Donna
Our blog: Double Happiness!

Dolores and Shawn said...

I understand. I really understand.

Wanda said...

Hi - fellow Canadian here.

Just wanted to say that I wish you courage and strength during this agonizing wait. I do think it'll pick up after March - but meanwhile, know you are not alone.

Wanda
www.atlastmilanascominhome.blogspot.com

Doreen said...

I'm so sorry you feel this way and I know when I tell you the wait is worth it, it might not seem like much right now, but...the wait is truely worth it.

Hag Samaech

Doreen in Montreal single mom to Faith-Jiangxi & Mia-Sichuan

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

I know exactly what you mean about the length of the wait etc... I truly do feel your pain... I have been through that situation... so, there really aren't any words I can tell you but sending a huge hug to ya...

A Mom- In-W8ing said...

These are the rough days that we need each other’s support to get through. As I can tell from all the comments of these lovely ladies, you have lots of support here in blogland.

This wait is tough, and it is taking its toll on a lot of us. I wish you peaceful days ahead on this amazing journey to your Little Maple.

Smiles! :o)
Nikki

Sam said...

Sorry just doesn't seem to be enough...

You need chocolate, booze, and shopping. NOW!