Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Crispy, crunchy crazy...

Some of you know that I work for my FIL as a medical secretary in a psychiatric office. I don't usually talk about work, but today I had a couple of doozies. One of the nuttier patients called up, now I'm not one to demean or talk badly about people with 'issues', but this one definitely deserves to be discussed.

So this patient called up and asked for an appointment with the doctor and this is the gist of the conversation (for privacy sake I'll refer to him as "Crispy, crunchy crazy" or CCC for short.

CCC: I used to be a patient of the doctor's but I haven't seen him in five years, can I have an appointment?

ME: Well since you haven't seen him in the past year you need a referral note from your doctor.

CCC: Well I'm a patient, I want an appointment!

ME: You need a referral note from your doctor, sir.

CCC: Do you know this for sure or are you guessing?

ME: No, these are the rules from OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan-all Ontario residents are covered by OHIP and get 'free' health care)

CCC: Well I'm going to call OHIP and ask about this because you don't know what you're talking about!

ME: Ok, you're free to do that.

CCC: What if I pay cash?

ME: That doesn't matter, if you're covered by OHIP, you still need a note. You can go to a walk-in clinic if you don't have a family doctor.

CCC: You're bugging me. Everyone bugs me. Now you're bugging me too. You're a fat f*cking wh*re!

ME: *click*

I *was* tempted to say "well sir, actually I've lost 10 pounds, so I'm not fat." (but then that would just make me a f*cking wh*re, so I decided not to say anything). :P

As if that wasn't enough for one day...

In walked our 4:30 appointment. She was wearing thigh high leather boots, a leather vest and a Motorhead (heavy metal band) purse. Any guesses on how old she was? Post your guesses below...

By the way, the final tally is in as far as how I should arrange my blogroll. *drumroll please*

At an overwhelming 16-3 the vote was in favour of doing my blogroll chronologically!


Sam said...

Hmmm...Was she 74? I don't think the squirrels have the market cornered on nuts these days! They don't even wait for the full-moon anymore!

Sam - soon to be a patient!
(home with a 10-year-old with the flu and his wild toddler sister who just took a bite out of the wall!!!)

Connie said...

Sounds like a typical day at my office ;0) Motorhead is 59 years old????

Seriously, one of my collegeagues is SO kind to her patients that she attracts the needy nuts like a bar of chocolate at PMS time. We all about croak when we have to see her patients. Her clientele is 90% nuts.

I'll never forget being brand new and having a psychotic patient with a perceived gyn problem. She was back to the wall in the corner saying 'You're a dirty, dirty girl!' over and over. Needless to say the eaxm did NOT happen at that point.

Doris & Dan Clark said...

My guess...54. Sounds like a crazy day for sure!

Keep smilin!

jaj said...


atomic mama said...


Avery's Mom & Dad said...

clearly this is a trick question, because it doesn't really matter how old she was....this would be completely tastless and inappropriate regardless of her age. I so wish you had told ccc that you had lost 10 lbs so that just made you a f**king whore, I would have then hung up and laughed my ass off for the rest of the day:)