It's all about having your head in an oven, isn't it? - posted by Josh

It's that time of year again when my Jewish brothers and sisters clean their houses down to the baseboards in preparation for the Great Pumpkin who rises from the pumpkin patch and gives presents to all the...oops sorry, my mind drifted and I was suddenly in a Peanuts/Charlie Brown cartoon. I am back now.

Yes it is that time of year when my Jewish brothers and sisters clean their houses almost as well as they cleaned it for their social worker's home study visit. Shhh. Actually, between you, me and six billion other web viewers, the house was cleaner for the visit by the social worker than when Elijah visited.

With the cleaning and the bank-busting grocery shopping behind us (more on that in the next post), we, according to tradition can relax and recline, as we are now free from our labours.

It's the labours that I want to write about. It seems my brethren have lost their way, or more accurately, they have forgotten that cleaning one's home does not have to be a scene from TV cop show CSI. Every year, our shul publishes its "Passover Guide". All you need to know about Passover but were afraid to ask.

References to toasters, toaster ovens and blenders as options to be koshered are laughable. There are too many moving parts. Put any appliance like this in a tightly sealed plastic bag and store in the recesses of your home so that you are not tempted to make a bread pudding smoothie. If you must have a blender for making gefilte fish or chopped liver, then have a good one in storage that's only used for Passover.

It's the koshering of cutlery, sinks, ovens, dishwashers and pots where the Guide mentioned above takes a weird turn. I dealt with the requirement to use saltwater or boiled water immersions performed over days, blow torches on metal surfaces and self cleaning ovens many years ago. Here is my solution that helps one observe the rules while keeping your spouse smiling over the next eight days.

1. A young exasperated woman was standing in a kosher bakery describing all that she had done to prepare for Passover. My mother, interested in how other women were handling the "Big Clean" listened intensely. The young woman, eager to follow Halacha (Jewish law) and her Rabbi, went as far as to scrub the walls of her house. An elderly woman, herself an Orthodox Rebbetzin (Rabbi's wife) , known for her modern no-nonsense ideas stepped forward upon hearing the young woman's burdens. With regal pertness, the Rebbetzin took the young woman aside and stated "I don't eat off the walls...so I don’t scrub them!"

2. Somehow Jews have managed to observe Passover without frost-free refrigerators, self-cleaning ovens, Wedgewood service for sixteen, dishwashers, and a staff to clean their kitchens. Why is it within the last 40 years, we treat preparing for Passover like preparing for a mission aboard the Space Shuttle? Why can't we keep things simple?

3. Do the Poland/Palestine Litmus test. This is a mental check when you are preparing for Passover. Was the activity you are about to perform, done in Poland 100 years ago by your ancestors who did not have today's modern conveniences? Was the activity you are about to engage in done in the desert when the Jews left Egypt? Likely no. Here is a simple example: Using blow torches to clean an oven even after you have cleaned it out with the most caustic of chemicals. Did your great grandpa have a blowtorch? Did he have an oven? Hmm. Another example is the great Cola question. Coke changes their labels to indicate that their regular products are kosher for Passover, their diet products are not because Aspartame is made from a corn-based sugar. Did they have Coke in Poland or the desert thousands of years ago? If the product is not available, then simply buy juice or water. Why tie yourself into knots?

4. As it relates to cutlery, pots and glassware. Buy a second set for Passover and put it away every year. The set will last forever because it's used one week per year. I would never dream of performing a multi-day immersion of anything, cooking supplies are so cheap, you could replace the dishes every year and not feel the pain. Or use paper plates and plastic cutlery and the problem is solved!

I appreciate that rules exist for ritual immersion and "conversion" of cutlery, pots, etc., to Pesach, but the holiday need not be made difficult on purpose. The emphasis should be on remembering the story of Pesach and enjoying it with one's family!

Keeping it simple means having your head in the oven before the holiday, because you must, instead of putting your head in the oven because you want to from the stress.