Answers

Hi all,

Donna here. OK, firstly, for those of you who don't know me, please know that I completely understand how you're feeling right now which is why I agreed to do this. I've been through the process twice myself (you can see pic's of my two beauties on my blog - maybe Rhonda can do that link thing - I don't know how to do it!!), so I'm coming to you both as an adoptive mom, as well as a staff person.

Let me try to answer some of your questions.......

1. I have NO idea what a "pay to view section on the CCAA website" is. Never heard of it!!! You guys certainly have access to more info than we ever did (which isn't always a good thing...sometimes ignorance is bliss **grin**). I will try to find out for you though.

2. Yes, you CAN pursue a domestic adoption at the same time as being in process to adopt internationally (in Ontario anyways, I can't speak for any other province in Canada, nor for the States) - as long as there is enough time in between (the rule (in Ontario), is that there has to be 18 mths between the ages of your children). The reasoning for some strict rules with pursuing more than one adoption at a time is both for a child's sake (first and foremost), but also for a parent's sake. Becoming a parent to more than one child at a time is stressful enough (ie multiples, right Crazy Lady??? *grin*), but to have to deal with two very separate adoption experiences is not fair to anyone. Children who are adopted have ALOT of "stuff" to deal with as you will all find out soon enough (believe me, I've had my share and still continue to have my share!!!) - they need 100% of your attention and time to help them to attach and become comfortable in their new home. YOU need time to become attached and become comfortable with parenting.

3. The wait has increased mostly because China is trying to promote domestic adoption. While that kinda sucks for us here wanting to adopt these children, it's a GOOD thing for these children to stay in their birth country. China's attempts have been successful, and while it's still a work in progress, it IS happening (we have friends who are Chinese and go home for visits quite often, and they are amazed at how many people they now know who have adopted a child). Add to this the fact that the CCAA gets THOUSANDS & THOUSANDS of dossiers from all over the world every year. China quickly became a very popular country to adopt from because it's such a smooth, honest process. There just aren't enough healthy infants available, and so we've got a major slow-down now. While there are many many orphanages in China, and likely many more children who could be adopted, the CCAA only deals with so many (I'm sorry, I can't remember the number). The Directors of the orphanages are also being very careful now (with forwarding children's files on to the CCAA), due to the situation last year of babies being bought and sold (YUCK YUCK YUCK). Better they be sure that these children are legimately available for adoption.

4. Will the times speed up? Now there's a million dollar question. Who knows? Right now there is no indication of that happening any time soon, BUT, one thing we know for sure is that there is NO certainty in the world of adoption. Things can change on a dime. It's a huge leap of faith. Their country, their rules.

5. Is it 2 yrs - 3 yrs......honestly, the way it's looking now, probably up to 3 yrs if you're just starting out. I won't even tell you how many files are backlogged at the CCAA right now. There just aren't enough healthy babies available. There sure are SN children though - some very mild correctible health issues, so I'm not sure why more families aren't open to pursuing this option??

6. While I can't speak for other agencies, I can tell you that CB DOES question the CCAA if we're not comfortable with something. We have a gentleman on staff who communicates with the CCAA weekly and he also visits with them in person 2-3 times per year (along with our Executive Director). This gentleman always asks for clarification on things if we need it. That said, we are also respectful of the fact that these are CHINA'S kids - not our's. You have to understand that a communist society works much differently than a democratic one. These are THEIR rules, not our's, THEIR kids, not our's. Who are we to tell them how to run things?? It's not respectful. If we were to try to tell them how to run things, they'd probably tell us to bugger off and close the program.

7. Again, while I can't speak for other agencies, I can say with full confidence that CB is upfront and honest with families as to what is going on in countries. One of you said, "why do agencies continue to take clients....". Actually, for the Vietnam program, we are NOT taking clients any more because we're not seeing any referrals, so we're not comfortable taking any more dossiers. Yes, we continue to take clients for China because it's still a viable program, BUT, we're also really trying to encourage families (at the early stages) to think about other programs that have a faster process, recognizing that it's a heck of a long time to wait 3 yrs for a child - lots can happen in 3 yrs!! We're also always upfront that we have no control over any of the programs - it's always a leap of faith we take in adoption; even in domestic adoption. Heck, there are no guarantees that come with parenthood period, no matter which way you decide to become a parent.

I think that was it?? I'll check back in again later or tomorrow to see if there are any more Q's. I hope that helps a bit. I know this is a very difficult time for all of you. While I myself didn't face a wait of up to 3 yrs, I had to deal with Ministry strikes, Air Canada strikes and SARS. There always seems to be something. While it's such an exciting process to go through, it's not always easy!! I actually had a couple of people say to me that by adopting I was doing it the "easy way". PFFFFF!!!!!! Hardly. They got an earful (adoption made me that way - I'm very good at being vocal now **grin**).

Hang in there guys.